To every man and swinging chick’s dismay, the news reports of Megan Fox married will drive us all into a summer swoon. Just when our pulsating libidos are peaked by vitamin B from the hot sun rays we now dear God have this to contend with. Megan Fox wedding photos will help us contend with the reality which is why we are soliciting your help, all of you dispirited readers like me.
Yeah she is not the smartest brick in the wall. Neither is she the brightest bulb in the ceiling or top card in the deck. She is not the sharpest tack. She ain’t a rocket scientist either. She cannot do brain surgery, fly an airplane. She probably cannot even cook like my He Man. Enough cliches. Stop the presses! Megan Fox married in Hawaii?
None of the tired cliches about Megan Fox’s irrelevant intellect matter anymore. You know why and I don’t got to tell you why. Megan Fox is the hottest woman in the world and that’s what matters to you. She puts the creme in sour, the icing on the cake, the pop on the corn, and turns fizzle into fizz. She got what no other woman got, baby. Sex appeal unsurpassed by any woman who has ever lived anywhere on the planet earth. Megan Fox is global warming personified.
Megan Fox should have been born a lesbian. Maybe she is and I got some hope still. One thing for sure is the dudes are out of luck. No Hollywood actress would do a threesome with two dudes. That’s far too futuristic for consideration in 2010.
So about the story, Megan Fox is married so get use to it. Megan Fox’s husband is Brian Austin Green, the lucky guy. They were married on Saturday in a Super Secret wedding ceremony in Hawaii at the Four Seasons. The Four Seasons? Hello. Megan, next time try something exotic that would fit your sexy persona like a thatched-roof cottage, an exotic Island with bongo drums. A lighthouse would do, even a wine cellar. What happened to you girl?
Only ten people attended, all sobbing hysterically for the loss. Next time? If only. The marriage may last a few days, a month or two, or maybe a lifetime. I can speak for all of us as we root for merely a few days. Give us back our Hollywood hottie and let this nightmare end.
Yes it is true. Now about those Megan Fox wedding photos, this is where we need your help. We have been unable to discern their existence anywhere probably because they are sequestered for a multi-million sale to a gossip magazine. Give us a link in the comments to help us find them, I command you.
Yes, Megan Fox married. Wedding photos will be provided by you in the comments!!! As we await reader sleuths, view the video below in which she claimed she would not get married soon. Then check back in the comment section periodically for our lucky find.
About the video, lying should be a crime when there are extenuating circumstances like today’s terrible awful news.
Video: Megan Fox Married, Denial False!