The Lindsay Lohan Machete poster photo that is making the rounds is both provocative and laughable. See the Lindsay Lohan nun outfit, licking a gun and looking way too cool for school. A trailer video is below as well. She poses topless in Machete which is why the topic interests me. You might like gun-licking nuns but I got other things to do in church.
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Machete is a movie directed by Robert Rodriguez. Surprisingly some good actors are in the movie such as my manly man Robert DeNiro who plays a really super important Senator guy.
Steven Seagal plays a character named “Torrez” (surely FICA World Cup goalie material) while Don Johnson plays Lt. Stillman. Jessica Alba plays somebody, who exactly is irrelevant. Same with Michelle Rodriguez. Yeah okay, Don Johnson is not a superstar but the other guys are cool dudes and Jessica is world class wannabe her, and especially wanna see her with Michelle Rodriguez if you catch my drift.
Judging by the pre-publicity photos and video trailer, the plot of the movie is a lot of guns and a few swords. Shoot people with the guns actors are holding. Sword fight. Chicks. Simple. I like guns and chicks but at this time of night those guns are usually under the sheets and hubby is too tired for more chicks. Let’s just say the sword is sheathed.
Speaking of sheets, back to Lindsay Lohan. The nun outfit is fairly hilarious would you not agree? It’s not just the celibacy thing that makes it all wrong but the preposterous need by the film’s marketing people to make Lindsay a focal-point of their advertising campaign. By God, what does DeNiro have to say about it? Who really cares about Lindsay Lohan when Jessica Alba is on screen.
Okay Perez Hilton will buy a ticket but what else is there to see here?
Well, see the trailer video for Machete, Lindsay Lohan nun licking sword thing and all.
Machete Video: Lindsay Lohan, Robert DeNiro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez